But the truth is that all these details weren’t important, that wasn’t the point of the trip. I needed to get away from what we ironically call “real life” and clear my head a little. You see, this was during my 5th week of holidays from school. I know that sounds nice, but it really does get old fast, especially when you’re completely undisciplined. I had such a nice list of things I wanted to do during the break, important things, useful things, fun things! And instead I mostly slept, watched TV, and… well, that is about it. And I couldn’t make myself do anything! I was scattered in my social, mental, and spiritual life, and didn’t feel strong enough to do anything about it. That can make a person like me go crazy….Hmmm, crazy enough to out into the mountains in freezing weather with no plan, you ask? Exactly.
There are times a person needs to step back and look at life, really get away from everything else and just think. It’s so ridiculously easy for us to get distracted from the only things that matter. It’s almost like a conspiracy! Try to list everything you’ve spent effort and time and thought on in the last month. Now, what percentage of those things will be important to you when your life is finished? There’s so much to fill our lives
with, and so little that’s really valuable. The only thing to do is to get away from the distractions once in a while. And for me, “I need an adventure” is code for “I need to feel like my life is real.” You know, I want to worry about things that matter! I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes I would rather be worrying about my survival than about finishing chapter 7 in my agriculture textbook, or wondering how I’m going to get food tomorrow rather than what item in the fridge will require the least amount of effort to prepare. It just seems more real, more natural, more full. Does that make sense to anyone else? So stop stalling and get on with the story, right? Well, the truth is that most of the trip was hours and hours of quiet walking, and most of the story was these thoughts in my head. Now wait a minute, don’t go anywhere! I didn’t say nothing exciting happened externally! In case you want to know, there IS an adventure in this story, a very unexpected and mysterious and slightly frightening adventure, but not yet…
You’ll remember that I jumped the fence onto government land, and now I was a little worried about being seen. I was pretty sure that no one else was going to be there, but who knows?
There was a road going from the gate up the hill, so I tried to avoid that as much as possible. Instead I walked along the ridge of the mountain (it was more interesting there anyway, see picture #1). Here it was also a little sheltered from the wind. Wind is nice for a while, but it can easily be too much. Trust me, when you’re out in nature, nothing can exhaust you as quickly as wind. In my opinion not even rain is so dangerous, if you’re prepared for it. But you can’t really be prepared for wind. It will push you and pull you and drain your warmth no matter what you do. So it was nice to get away from it for a while. But there were still signs of the temperature around me. There was ice on the ground. But strangely, there were also signs of spring (see picture #2).Well, after about an hour it was clear that I couldn’t continue off-trail anymore. I had been making a way through the bushes, but at one point I realized I was trapped, and I had to return about 10 minutes back (see
picture #3a,3b). So, I decided that if I really wanted to get deep into the hills then I should follow the road. It’s quite a nice road, usually fit for a jeep or something like that (though later on it is too out of repair for anything with wheels). It cuts through the forest and over the hills in a pretty straight direction; away from the valley. That’s all I wanted.My experience with the bushes off the road should have warned me about something. If this road seemed to me like an easy way to travel away from the city, then it would seem that way to other things also. I saw a lot of deer tracks, and small animals and bird tracks in the mud. These didn’t worry me at all, I really didn’t even think about it. Until I saw something completely different. I looked down and saw tracks larger and different than anything I’ve ever seen before (see picture #5). It is about the size of my 
hand, but much thicker. My first thought was actually that someone was wearing ski gloves and fell in the mud. But then I started seeing the same tracks along the trail, in a line. Unless someone was willing to get very muddy for a bad joke in an area with no people, this was no human track. My best guess (both then and after looking online)? Bear. I can’t be sure that it was, of course, and I never expected to find bear so close to the city (less than 10 miles), but I can’t find anything else that makes sense.
Well, I’m actually not too frightened of bear. After all, they can be cute! Okay, seriously, they’re also quite afraid of people, and will most likely run away before I even know they’re close. However, a bear wouldn’t come so far out of the mountains unless it was desperate for food, and I did have a backpack full of cheese and sausage and bread…. But I’m just trying to be dramatic, I didn’t think about this at all then. Moving on!
Shortly after these tracks, I came to the end of the government preserve. I’d walked through it in about two hours. Now there was another gate, leading to “Musty Buck Reserve: No trespassing.” I hopped over and continued on. Behind my left shoulder I was getting some excellent views of the valley far below. I also noticed that the sun was getting pretty low. It was around 3:30 by this time, and it looked like the sun would set in about
an hour and a half. Then we would see how I react under pressure.
hand, but much thicker. My first thought was actually that someone was wearing ski gloves and fell in the mud. But then I started seeing the same tracks along the trail, in a line. Unless someone was willing to get very muddy for a bad joke in an area with no people, this was no human track. My best guess (both then and after looking online)? Bear. I can’t be sure that it was, of course, and I never expected to find bear so close to the city (less than 10 miles), but I can’t find anything else that makes sense.Well, I’m actually not too frightened of bear. After all, they can be cute! Okay, seriously, they’re also quite afraid of people, and will most likely run away before I even know they’re close. However, a bear wouldn’t come so far out of the mountains unless it was desperate for food, and I did have a backpack full of cheese and sausage and bread…. But I’m just trying to be dramatic, I didn’t think about this at all then. Moving on!
Shortly after these tracks, I came to the end of the government preserve. I’d walked through it in about two hours. Now there was another gate, leading to “Musty Buck Reserve: No trespassing.” I hopped over and continued on. Behind my left shoulder I was getting some excellent views of the valley far below. I also noticed that the sun was getting pretty low. It was around 3:30 by this time, and it looked like the sun would set in about
an hour and a half. Then we would see how I react under pressure. Have I mentioned that I’m really not comfortable with darkness? Especially when alone, my imagination just goes wild. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to control that. I mean, even when I go into my backyard at night, I’m not afraid anymore, but I still imagine someone hiding behind the trees or a shadowy thing standing behind the door. It’s just how my mind works, I’ve just learned to not take it seriously…in my backyard, that is. Out in the forest miles from anyone, well that’s something different. As I now thought about going through the dark forest alone, my heart started beating a little bit faster, and I really started to wonder what I was doing. But, I’d already been walking 6 hours, and even if I turned around now I would be walking a long way in the dark, so that wouldn’t help. This was the “fun” part anyway, right?
Around 4:45 I finally came to the end of Musty Buck, I think. There was another gate, but no signs on it. And it looked like no one had opened it in years. Well, I didn’t need to open it! Hop to!
I started thinking about how rough the road was here, and how no car could come up here, even if the gates would open. Just a few minutes later I came around a corner, and all the brush and trees to my right opened up suddenly into a large clearing. And there, in the middle of nowhere, was a chimney (see picture #6). It looked so strange and out-of-place, I really can’t explain it. I just stopped and stared at it for a while. Seeing nothing but trees and dirt road all day did not prepare me to see this. All around it there were piles of burnt tin cans, glass bottles, and rusted scrap metal. There was also the signs of building, but it doesn’t look like anything was ever built up more than a foot. What was it for, and why was it here? I have absolutely no idea, and I probably never will.
The clearing did give a nice view of the sunset, though, and so I watched my source of light and heat sink behind the earth’s edge (see picture #7). It’s pretty amazing how much the temperature is instantly effected when the last sliver of sun disappears. Even though I was wearing 4 layers by that time, I started to feel the cold a little. But a more pressing concern was the growing darkness. In the clearing it was still okay, but as soon as I went back into the forest, I could see that it was going to get interesting. About this time I saw a sign on the side of the road: “Property of Sierra Pacific Industries: No Trespassing.” Hmmm, better pretend I didn’t see that.
I stopped at the side of the road to prepare myself for night. I put on the rest of my cloths: five layers on the torso, three on the legs, extra socks, hat, put away camera, prepare flashlight and… ahem… pistol. Okay, now wait, it wasn’t real. I don’t know if that makes it better or worse, but it was an air-soft pistol that shoots little pellets. Shoots them quite hard, actually, enough to really hurt, but not to cause any real damage. I just thought that if I met a dangerous animal, and it wasn’t going away I could… you know… shoot it a little… or something. Okay fine, it just made me feel better to have something that could shoot something. And in the end, it’s the psychological part that really matters, right? Unless you really meet a dangerous animal… But anyway!
So, I was ready for anything! There was still enough light to see my feet for about half an hour. The last time I came out of the forest along the edge of the valley I got another surprise. I looked down on the road, and could barely see something new. Tracks (see picture #8). These were different than the tracks before. They are definitely lighter, not so thick, more pointed. As I looked at them, I tried to tell myself that they were dog tracks. And that’s possible. But really, they don’t look like dog tracks. The size of the back pad, the way the “fingers” are pointed… They look more like a cat… a big cat… a very big cat…a mountain lion, even. I knew that’s probably what they were, that it was a very real possibility. I was now at least 10 miles past the limits of Upper Bidwell, and in an area that was basically wild. I’ve looked at a track guide online, and I’m pretty sure about this guess. Now this gave me more to think about than the bear tracks. After all, I’m not afraid of bear, I am afraid of mountain lions. I’ve seen them in zoos, and even in captivity they’re just one massive, powerful muscle. And their eyes, so cold and deep and unfeeling, they can see fear like a physical thing, and they fear nothing. Meeting one on a trail in daylight might be okay, but I was going into the night, where he can see and I can’t, and my cute little toy gun would only make him mad. What was I doing here?
So I wanted to worry about something “real,” eh? This is it, and I hadn’t found a reason to turn around yet, so I kept going. You know, don’t tell anyone, but I think a small part of me wanted to see a lion. A very small part.
Well, when I looked up from the tracks, I could see something deep in the forest. It was a light, a man-made light. I thought it was deep in the forest, but it’s so hard to tell. In situations like this, it can look like a UFO is landing on the next mountaintop, until you realize there’s a glow-bug landing on your nose. But I was sure that it was electrical. People, here? I wondered what kind of people would be in such wilderness on a night like this, and if I wanted them to see me. After all, I was through three layers of private land… Anyway, you can think about the possibilities, and whoever they were I was pretty sure I didn’t want to met them, but also sure that I wanted to see them. It’s always nice to have a goal, after all.
So I started trying to walk quieter, and to use my flashlight as little as possible. It’s really cool how the fear leaves you when you feel like the hunter, and this helped me continue through the forest for 10,15, 25 minutes, but there was still no sign of life. I decided I hadn’t seen anything after all. I was back to having no goal. Also, the road had changed a little. Before it was wide, and very clear. Now it got narrow, and the bushes and trees pressed in close on both sides. I kept expecting to look up and see the road just end in a wall of bushes. There were also a lot of rocks and branches on the road, so I needed to focus on my feet. That can be difficult when you start thinking about something jumping out of the bushes onto your back. Then the road started going uphill, sharply. Nowhere else to go but up.
I continued up that hill for a long time, questioning myself more and more. Okay, we’re here in the pressure now, no escape. So what now, Caleb? What are you going to do? Do you want to lay down here and freeze to death or wake up to a lion looking down at you? Or are you going to keep walking into empty forest for another 13 hours until sunrise? What’s going to be enough for you? There’s nothing there but more forest and empty road.
No, the road must be here for a reason, and I’m not ready to give up yet. Nothing has happened, and you know, part of me is enjoying this.
So I kept walking for another half hour. It was now close to 7:00, completely dark, completely silent. I could only see where I pointed my flashlight, and whenever I tried to walk without a light (a much better way to walk if there’s a little bit of natural light), I kept hitting my toes on rocks and tripping over branches. There was no moon, and all this talk about walking by starlight is pretty useless under trees. So I kept my light on, feeling like I was calling every living thing from miles around, and not being very comfortable about it.
Still I started to feel a little better, for a moment. Just a moment. I reached the top of the hill, so the road leveled out. I was pleased by this, and stepped forward. I then realized that all the bushes on my left were gone, they had opened into a clearing. I automatically moved my light in that direction, and straight onto the last thing I expected to see, but the very thing I was looking for. I’d found an adventure.
I quickly turned off the flashlight, and felt myself breathing faster. “It’s not possible,” I whispered. What should I do now?…
Around 4:45 I finally came to the end of Musty Buck, I think. There was another gate, but no signs on it. And it looked like no one had opened it in years. Well, I didn’t need to open it! Hop to!
I started thinking about how rough the road was here, and how no car could come up here, even if the gates would open. Just a few minutes later I came around a corner, and all the brush and trees to my right opened up suddenly into a large clearing. And there, in the middle of nowhere, was a chimney (see picture #6). It looked so strange and out-of-place, I really can’t explain it. I just stopped and stared at it for a while. Seeing nothing but trees and dirt road all day did not prepare me to see this. All around it there were piles of burnt tin cans, glass bottles, and rusted scrap metal. There was also the signs of building, but it doesn’t look like anything was ever built up more than a foot. What was it for, and why was it here? I have absolutely no idea, and I probably never will.The clearing did give a nice view of the sunset, though, and so I watched my source of light and heat sink behind the earth’s edge (see picture #7). It’s pretty amazing how much the temperature is instantly effected when the last sliver of sun disappears. Even though I was wearing 4 layers by that time, I started to feel the cold a little. But a more pressing concern was the growing darkness. In the clearing it was still okay, but as soon as I went back into the forest, I could see that it was going to get interesting. About this time I saw a sign on the side of the road: “Property of Sierra Pacific Industries: No Trespassing.” Hmmm, better pretend I didn’t see that.
I stopped at the side of the road to prepare myself for night. I put on the rest of my cloths: five layers on the torso, three on the legs, extra socks, hat, put away camera, prepare flashlight and… ahem… pistol. Okay, now wait, it wasn’t real. I don’t know if that makes it better or worse, but it was an air-soft pistol that shoots little pellets. Shoots them quite hard, actually, enough to really hurt, but not to cause any real damage. I just thought that if I met a dangerous animal, and it wasn’t going away I could… you know… shoot it a little… or something. Okay fine, it just made me feel better to have something that could shoot something. And in the end, it’s the psychological part that really matters, right? Unless you really meet a dangerous animal… But anyway!
So, I was ready for anything! There was still enough light to see my feet for about half an hour. The last time I came out of the forest along the edge of the valley I got another surprise. I looked down on the road, and could barely see something new. Tracks (see picture #8). These were different than the tracks before. They are definitely lighter, not so thick, more pointed. As I looked at them, I tried to tell myself that they were dog tracks. And that’s possible. But really, they don’t look like dog tracks. The size of the back pad, the way the “fingers” are pointed… They look more like a cat… a big cat… a very big cat…a mountain lion, even. I knew that’s probably what they were, that it was a very real possibility. I was now at least 10 miles past the limits of Upper Bidwell, and in an area that was basically wild. I’ve looked at a track guide online, and I’m pretty sure about this guess. Now this gave me more to think about than the bear tracks. After all, I’m not afraid of bear, I am afraid of mountain lions. I’ve seen them in zoos, and even in captivity they’re just one massive, powerful muscle. And their eyes, so cold and deep and unfeeling, they can see fear like a physical thing, and they fear nothing. Meeting one on a trail in daylight might be okay, but I was going into the night, where he can see and I can’t, and my cute little toy gun would only make him mad. What was I doing here?
So I wanted to worry about something “real,” eh? This is it, and I hadn’t found a reason to turn around yet, so I kept going. You know, don’t tell anyone, but I think a small part of me wanted to see a lion. A very small part.
Well, when I looked up from the tracks, I could see something deep in the forest. It was a light, a man-made light. I thought it was deep in the forest, but it’s so hard to tell. In situations like this, it can look like a UFO is landing on the next mountaintop, until you realize there’s a glow-bug landing on your nose. But I was sure that it was electrical. People, here? I wondered what kind of people would be in such wilderness on a night like this, and if I wanted them to see me. After all, I was through three layers of private land… Anyway, you can think about the possibilities, and whoever they were I was pretty sure I didn’t want to met them, but also sure that I wanted to see them. It’s always nice to have a goal, after all.
So I started trying to walk quieter, and to use my flashlight as little as possible. It’s really cool how the fear leaves you when you feel like the hunter, and this helped me continue through the forest for 10,15, 25 minutes, but there was still no sign of life. I decided I hadn’t seen anything after all. I was back to having no goal. Also, the road had changed a little. Before it was wide, and very clear. Now it got narrow, and the bushes and trees pressed in close on both sides. I kept expecting to look up and see the road just end in a wall of bushes. There were also a lot of rocks and branches on the road, so I needed to focus on my feet. That can be difficult when you start thinking about something jumping out of the bushes onto your back. Then the road started going uphill, sharply. Nowhere else to go but up.
I continued up that hill for a long time, questioning myself more and more. Okay, we’re here in the pressure now, no escape. So what now, Caleb? What are you going to do? Do you want to lay down here and freeze to death or wake up to a lion looking down at you? Or are you going to keep walking into empty forest for another 13 hours until sunrise? What’s going to be enough for you? There’s nothing there but more forest and empty road.
No, the road must be here for a reason, and I’m not ready to give up yet. Nothing has happened, and you know, part of me is enjoying this.
So I kept walking for another half hour. It was now close to 7:00, completely dark, completely silent. I could only see where I pointed my flashlight, and whenever I tried to walk without a light (a much better way to walk if there’s a little bit of natural light), I kept hitting my toes on rocks and tripping over branches. There was no moon, and all this talk about walking by starlight is pretty useless under trees. So I kept my light on, feeling like I was calling every living thing from miles around, and not being very comfortable about it.
Still I started to feel a little better, for a moment. Just a moment. I reached the top of the hill, so the road leveled out. I was pleased by this, and stepped forward. I then realized that all the bushes on my left were gone, they had opened into a clearing. I automatically moved my light in that direction, and straight onto the last thing I expected to see, but the very thing I was looking for. I’d found an adventure.
I quickly turned off the flashlight, and felt myself breathing faster. “It’s not possible,” I whispered. What should I do now?…
To be continued…
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